I have been excited to have fitness goals and to be more active! Eating better, feeling better, and overall, just taking better care of my body!

Recently, I found myself starting to see progress on my fitness journey, yet I found myself wanting to slow down the progress out of nowhere… Not because it didn’t feel great or because I didn’t love the results, but I found myself wanting to slow down for a different reason.

I’ll get to that…

I am sure I’m not the only one who has felt this way, but in general, I’ve had an issue with exercising in the past.  It has not been enjoyable, to say the least, my body hurt all over, it wasn’t a “good burn” for me, I would over do it and hate myself the next day! Again, that was just me!

This time around has been completely different, it has actually been fun! I have found short quick workouts that I can do anytime during the day OR after the kids have gone to bed! Hopping on the treadmill while Brett and I workout together watching a show!

So, even though I was seeing results, and feeling better, I found myself telling Brett that I didn’t want my physical change to be a dramatic or a drastic one. 

I had to dig deep into that feeling and get to the root of why I am resisting the physical change! Isn’t that the point after all!?

What I realized is that I STILL don’t want my body to be THE focus! This past year I have been on a journey of learning to love myself! Which means fully loving and accepting myself – TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY!  And it was important to love myself for who I am today and at the size that I am today. Because if I could love myself at this size and shape, then I can learn to love myself no matter what.

I also realized that for me, the way that I physically look isn’t what is driving me! I want more energy, I want to be able to keep up with my kids as they get busier and older, and ultimately I want to be the best example that I can be for these “mini me’s!” Maybe that’s why this time around feels so different! It’s a format that is far more sustainable than “vanity” – their is nothing wrong with what “drives you,” I am still learning that if you don’t “love the idea enough” the drive just won’t be there!

The deeper I dove into my feelings, the more I realized how conditioned we are when it comes to noticing or complimenting others and their physical changes. I have done it myself to others, mostly out of habit, and although I don’t believe that it’s wrong or intentional, I am just realizing now, that there can be potential for negativity that is associated with a fresh compliment for anyone’s downsize. 

THIS is why I have been hesitating to really push and “go” on with something that I have really been enjoying — I now realize the last thing I want is for a flurry of compliments to come my way upon making this physical change — especially when I am truly loving myself for the person I am right now at this very moment — Curves and ALL.

So… What is holding me back!?

Here’s what I discovered (and like all my blogs, this is only MY take, you may feel completely different around the subject):

When people worship and praise my body because it’s smaller it sends the message that I wasn’t good enough when I was bigger.  I am able to now navigate through those feelings and get to the intention behind the comments of friends, family, or strangers.  And I know in my heart that someone’s intentions are to encourage me and cheer me on — yet somehow it’s those words that can feel heavier than the weight I am working so hard to work off!

When people focus and amplify “How much better you look” OR “What did you do to lose all the weight!?” It feels like the focus goes something like this:

“You are SO MUCH BETTER now that you’re skinny…”

All the while my mind goes, “but I am still the same person! This skin all over my body is just a “meat suit!” – “I haven’t changed.”

It seems to really shine a light on how society thinks we “should” all look! (“Let’s all fall in line and celebrate the “Social Standard.)” And again, I KNOW that’s NOT the intention behind the seemingly supportive comments! This is simply how we’ve been conditioned!  And I see now that this is how I’ve felt in the past but I could never quite put my finger on it, on why it didn’t feel great to receive these comments. 

I find myself thinking, “Do you really want to know what I did to make this physical shift? I will tell you…!”  (and it’s not just a workout plan, or eating healthy…for me that’s actually been the smaller part of this journey!)

It took learning to LOVE myself to honour my body with the fuel and exercise I already deserved! It is my birthright to have my “ideal” body weight and this can be accomplished because I am choosing to care for and celebrate my body the way she deserves!

I have found myself on such a DEEP Journey of LEARNING how to Truly, Madly, Deeply LOVE Myself! To learn to LOVE ALL of me, Inside and Out. From the shadows of my soul all the way to the lumpy parts of my body! 

That’s what it took for me to wake up and take control of both my physical self and my personal energy and flow!

Slowly I am chipping away at all the negative things I’ve been packing around all these years like a heavy security blanket that no longer served me!

Feeling healthy is AWESOME! That’s a HUGE part of what motivates me.  Being the best example for my kids – that’s what motivates me! I have a DEEP Desire to be able to keep up with my kids as they get older and busier! I desire to continue to grow and be the best version of myself. All of this is what Motivates me The MOST!

So here’s a thought:

Maybe the next time we see someone who has gone through a SIGNIFICANT CHANGE in their Physical-Self, we try saying something new like, “You have ALWAYS been Beautiful!” OR “You have ALWAYS been MORE than ENOUGH!”

How EMPOWERING is that!? And isn’t THAT the goal when it comes to showering someone with compliments for their hard work and all their effort!? To say, “You are Loved! You are POWERFUL! I Admire You! I Admire Your Strength and Your Will Power!?”

Those are just a few suggestions to leave your friend a family member, or stranger, feeling empowered. 

Feel free to share your story below if you have an experience you’d like to share, or an idea of how you would like to be complimented!